Unlikely Inspiration?

When I got home from Carl's last night, I finished watching the Kennedy Center honors program. One of the year's honorees was Paul McCartney of the Beatles. Of course they performed a tribute to him, singing a medley of various Beatles songs. In one of them, The End, there's a line that reads: "The love you make is equal to the love you take." It suddenly hit me that this is so true. If you aren't willing to love the way you want to be loved, then you'll never get it in return. Just thought I'd share that little piece of inspiration. Hope every one has a great New Year on Friday!

Friends

Friends

My mom & me

Carl & I

As some of you know, this week has been hell for me. If it's not one thing, it's another. Monday I got into a small wreck at school. Tuesday I got some not so great news from a professor that could possibly be heartbreaking so I spent almost my whole day worrying about that. On top of that, I couldn't get a hold of the other person involved in my accident so I was really worried that I was gonna get screwed over. Today has been completely jam packed with work and school and tomorrow is going to be even worse. I'm not trying to throw a big pitty party for myself or anything... I just wanted to set up a little picture that goes along with what I'm about to say.

I have the GREATEST family & friends a girl could have. My mom has been my strength this week. She knows me better than anyone else and tells me to take a deep breath when I feel like I'm about to explode. My boyfriend is wonderful and believed in me when I was doubting myself. He reminded me that I'm a strong person and can get through this. My friends have been wonderful as well, offering listening ears if I need to talk and their help. Ashley B. & Will have been especially wonderful this week. I no longer refer to them (and Joel & Conrad for that matter) as friends I met through Carl. I now refer to them as MY friends... which they truly truly are.

So thank you to all of those people who have reminded me that this is merely a bump in the road, that I will get through it, and that the semester is almost over!! :)

Thanksgiving

With Thanksgiving being 2 days away, I wanted to take some time to talk about what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my family. If it wasn't for them, I literally probably wouldn't be here today. They have helped me through so much and believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.

I'm thankful for my friends. I don't know what I would've done without my 3 best friends Ashley, Erin, & LeighAnn. I have been friends with Ashley since I was like 3 and even though we've gone through some rough patches, we're better friends now than ever before. Not only are Erin & LeighAnn family, they are also my best friends. They're more like sisters to me than cousins. They have always been so loving and supportive. I'm also thankful for the friends I have met through Carl. Conrad, Ashley, Joel & Will: You guys are some of the most sincere, real people I have ever met. You welcomed me with open arms and I count myself lucky to have become your friend.

Of course I'm thankful for my wonderful boyfriend, Carl. Not only is he my boyfriend but he is also my friend. We get along so well and have so much fun together. He is so supportive of me and always there for me whenever I need him. Not only is he pretty wonderful but his family is awesome. His parents are amazing people and it has been a joy getting to know them over the last year and a half.

I'm also thankful for opportunity. Even though I hate school sometimes, I'm thankful for the opportunity to get a college education and the opportunity to make something of myself. A lot of people don't have that chance and I'm thankful I live in a country where I do. I'm also thankful for the opportunity to have a job. Even though I complain about it sometimes, jobs are hard to find right now and I'm glad I have one.

I'm thankful for Alpha Sigma Tau and my sisters. Joining AST is one of the best decisions I have ever made and I'm so glad I transferred to IUSB and was given the opportunity to be apart of such a wonderful group of women and affiliated with this organization.

Lastly, I'm thankful for my dog Toby. I'm thankful for him for many reasons. No matter how bad of a day I'm having, he is always happy to see me. Whenever I walk in the door, he's the first one there to welcome me home. That might sound corny but I don't care. Haha. I'm also thankful for him because he has taught me a lot and made me reach a new level of responsibility. I'm responsible for a life now and while he may not be my biological child, he is still my son and I am still responsible for taking care of him.


There are a lot of things to be thankful for this year. The Lord has blessed my life in so many ways and I'm forever grateful.

Is Thanksgiving break here yet?

So it's been a while since my last post but this week is already really stressful and writing about it seems to help me some.
I don't know about you all but I'm stressed to the max. I feel like there's so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it. I'll be so happy when this semester is over and I can have a little time to breathe. I just feel like it's one thing after another. This week is literally the week from hell. Luckily, I had a deadline pushed back which makes it a LITTLE better but not a whole lot. I am thankful that I don't have to work this week. I can't imagine how stressed I would be if I had to work on top of all of this. I'm just trying to get through the week and make it to Friday!

Feeling Blessed

Not that this is a bad thing, but today I've been feeling super blessed. I don't know what it is... maybe it's the nice weather or something but I've just had this feeling all day about how truly blessed my life is. I have a wonderful family who I can always count on to be there, wonderful friends who pick me up when I fall down, and an awesome boyfriend who understands me & is there whenever I need him.
Not only that, but I've met some pretty awesome people within this last year and I really don't know how I ever survived without them before.
First are my sorority sisters. Joining AST was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Knowing I have such a strong support system no matter what makes the stresses of life a little easier. I'm so anxious for the fall (not the classes, haha) and to spend more time with you all!
Through Carl, I've met some of the most genuine, real & caring people. I was pretty quite and shy when I first met them, but they welcomed me into the group with open arms. I haven't even known them that long, yet they treat me like I've been around forever. You guys know who you are and I can't begin to describe how much that means to me. To be welcomed with open arms and cared for like I've been your friend for years means more to me than I could ever describe & I can't wait to spend more time with you all in the future!
And then there's my PMCC friends. You guys rock my world. Seriously. Last summer was by far the best summer of my life & I have you guys to thank for that. I can't wait to spend every day again this summer with you guys, yelling at poolies to walk & closing the kiddie pool when someone poops in it. Haha. It'll be a helluva time that's for sure.

All of you have made such a significant impact on my life & I love you all dearly. I'm gonna end this post with a little song that's a personal favorite of mine & I think most of you will recognize [especially you, Ashley B :)].

"So no one told you life was gonna be this way,
Your jobs a joke, you're broke, your love life's DOA.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear,
Well, it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year...
But, I'll be there for you,
When the rain starts to pour.
I'll be there for you,
Like I've been there before.
I'll be there for you,
Cause you're there for me too."

My Grandma

A year ago today, heaven was blessed with a new angel. In memory of my wonderful Grandma, I thought I'd take a little time to share the awesomeness that was Betty Carter.
My Grandma was one of those old women who said what they wanted...whether it was funny or serious. And when she was funny, oh man... she made you laugh. One of the best memories I have of her was one day when we were visiting her we went out to eat at this restaurant called Big Boy. It was me, her, my mom, my cousin LeighAnn and my aunt Karen. We had just sat down and the waiter came to take our drink order. We all order and my aunt was the last to order her drink. Now mind you, we were very uncertain about the sexuality of our waiter. The person had a feminine name, but had the bone structure of a man (very defined chin and the like). After my aunt ordered her drink, my grandma (under her breath) said "Thank you....sir." I thought the rest of us were going to fall over we were laughing so hard. That was my grandma's kind of humor... very quite and to herself. I think sometimes she may not have even wanted anyone to hear it. Another fond memory I have was at my cousin Erin's high school graduation party. They have a pretty big yard and so some of us had set up a game of softball in the side yard. My grandma and mom were sitting together under a tree and the ball rolled over, just out of arms reach. My grandma stuck out her hand, motioned for the ball to come to her, and said "Come on." Maybe it was one of those times where you had to be there, but it was seriously so funny! Not only did my grandma have a great sense of humor, but she shared so many things with me about her life.
My grandma lived in southern Ohio, so I didn't have the privilege of seeing her very often...unlike my 2 cousins. But she was still very active in my life. She loved to learn and believed strongly in education. If we got good grades, she'd send us money. $9 for A's & B's and $10 for all A's. I remember her saying once that we were going to make her go brankrupt because we were such good students. My sophomore year of high school was a very rough year for me... for several different reasons. I remember getting home from school one day and seeing a letter sitting on the counter from my grandma. She and my mom were very close so my mom had talked with her about some of the things that were going on with me. Because she loved me so much, my grandma decided to take time to write me a letter about how she had experienced some of the same things I was going through. Her heart had gotten broken just like mine and she had had a hard time dealing with it just like I had. To me, that was the greatest gift ever. Knowing that someone I had looked up to and respected so much had been where I was made me feel so much better. And not only did it make me feel better, but it gave me someone I could go to if I needed. I remember thinking how cool my grandma was. I still have the letter today, sitting on my dresser. It's something I will always cherish.

Grandma-- you were one of the coolest ladies I have ever known. I'm so lucky that I got to spend 20 1/2 years with you. I miss you more everyday and can't wait to see you again! I love you!

Charlie

Thought I'd give blogging a try. When I was in high school I had a Xanga account but never really did anything with it.

So yesterday morning, my mom and I had to take our dog, Charlie, to be put to sleep. He had eaten a rock about the size of a guitar pick and it was stuck in his intestine. He's been eating rocks ever since we brought him home and had to have surgery a few months ago to get some out of his stomach. It was kinda like he had an addiction; he wouldn't stop. We didn't have a choice; he was past the point of surgery and we couldn't just let him suffer.
That dog meant more to me than any other pet I'd had before. I know he's just a dog, but I loved him like he was a member of my family. It broke my heart to have to put him to sleep. It seemed like anything I saw yesterday made me cry. I saw an ant and started crying (he was our glorified ant killer). Even when I walked into the house yesterday after getting home from school I started to cry. Whenever I would walk in I would always hear this little bark coming from his room, telling me he needed to go outside. But all I heard yesterday was silence. Last night, my step-dad went to pick Charlie up so we could bury him. I left and went to Carl's because I couldn't handle being home when Jaime got back.
I'm a little better today but it still hurts. I know it'll get better each day but I'll always miss him. Love & miss you, Charles. The house isn't the same without you.